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Shop Til We Drop

November 5, 2008

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy.

This is coming from an informed college student. Please PLEASE put away the credit card. It has melted beyond all recognition. 700 billion isn’t a number I like to fathom (is that how many grains of sand are in Montego Bay?). Now you say that this was not enough. Let’s build and inject a SECOND stimulus package. If it is too small… we’ll even throw a THIRD package at the people.

I’ve got a flat right now, Nancy. Right rear tire on my Chevy Aveo. Fix-A-Flat helped… but sooner or later it’s going to need permanent fixing. I tried throwing dollar bills at it, but nothing happened. Then I tried 5’s, 10’s, 20’s… still nothing. You know what? I decided that throwing money at it wasn’t going to help. I had to first rid the tire of what was destroying it, fill the tire with something beneficial to it’s growth and stabilization, and I am taking it to the tire shop and entrusting it in the care of someone with experience and know-how.


I feel like you are spending my money, and I can’t work fast enough to cover expenses. PUT AMERICA’S CREDIT CARD DOWN! Another option would be to explain where this money is coming from, and how it is BALANCING the budget. We know that’s not going to happen, so you can go with the former.


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